Chicago Golf Guy’s TOP 5 cool guy things to say/do after a great golf shot:

Palmer at his coolest.

Warning: These golf moves should only be done with friends, and after you have perfected each move.  Do not attempt these difficult choreographed moves on the course for the first time.  Practice your cool guy moves in front of the mirror, and practice harder than you would on your short game.  Remember that 40% of all your cool guy points come from your celebratory reactions.  Until you have perfected at least 2 of the top 5, please stick with the casual nod and a wave to the crowd for your customary celebratory green side dances.

  1. The Slow Motion Reverse Instant Replay: After a great putt goes in track your steps backwards while making the same movements you just made while in reverse.  I like to follow up my slow motion reverse instant replay with a regular play back of my putt going in.  You must also proceed your instant replays with “you guys want to see that again?”
  2. The Advertiser: This move works best after you make a great birdie, and then replace the flag.  While walking off the green causally ask your playing partners if they know how much an ad is in the Trib (the Chicago Tribune)? After their serious answer (I would guess no more than 50 bucks, why do you ask?) You respond with: “Oh I’m thinking of putting an ad in the paper to find some better guys to play golf with”.
  3. The Sexual Chocolate:  This is one of my personal favorites.  In the movie Coming To American with Eddie Murphy there is a part in the film where a young singer comes into the church to sing the children are our future.  After his performance Sexual Chocolate drops the microphone in the middle of the stage and walks off…  How does this translate into golf? After your 30+ footer goes in raise your putter up in the one armed solute like you always do, but instead of walking towards the hole to retrieve your ball you drop your putter from above your head and walk off the green.  Sexual Chocolate everybody… the boy’s good!
  4. The Golf Cart Fake out:  After hitting a much longer drive than your opponents (and after your ridding partner hits his shot and returns to the cart) start driving towards your drive but just prior to reaching your ball pump the gas once, and then let the cart die and roll to a stop.  Get out and look befuddled.  Playing partner: “Whats going on?” Your response: “We must of ran out of gas on the long drive up to my ball”. Be prepared to walk the rest of the round prior to making this move.
  5. The Happy Madison: We have all ridden the bull from time to time.  It works great from the tee box, or on the green.  Step over your putter (as if climbing a bull) and then slap your bottom and high step it all over the golf course.  However, when done incorrectly this very well known golf celebration cool guy dance, can turn into a catastrophe. Please see video below (also do not video tape yourself doing the bull dance).

Why you should care about cool guy moves:

When done correctly your cool guy stock will rise because of these moves.  When your are a golf cool guy, beer cart girls are more likely to respond to your not so cool guy pick up lines.  But remember practice makes perfect, and as your stock rises, typically your scores will lower.  Beer cart girls, and cool guy moves aside, we all want to play better golf.

One comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s